Addiction is cunning, baffling, and powerful because it uses self-deception, self-delusion, justification and rationalization to attack us. Part of the problem of trying to get better in recovery is that the majority of the character defects that we have need to lose or reprogram won’t happen until the we stop using and we’ve started working the Steps. Meanwhile, some of those self-same defects are screaming at us to not stop using.  A sober life will be dull and interminable it tries to tell us.

Sometimes the disease, through these defects, tells us that no matter what the program tells us, there is an easier, softer way out there – we just haven’t found it. Other times it convinces us that we do have control and we will exercise that control our substance – tomorrow. Of course, this is the disease’s main job – to get us to not put it down – for at least one more day. These are also some of the same thoughts our disease puts in our heads to get us to give up our hard won sobriety and relapse. If you are new to program, these thoughts might very well be the case on a daily basis.

Every addict is susceptible to relapse, if the circumstances are right. The more overall recovery, the more “insurance” you have against a relapse, but there’s still no guarantee it cannot happen. Any addict, put under enough pressure, can – and will – revert to type. I’ve heard it said that for every year of recovery, you get one second to reconsider before picking up. I’m not sure that’s the correct ratio, but I agree with the intent – and that more time in program allows you to better see your options.

If you’re already in a 12 Step program and are in the middle of a slip, I can relate. I was there too. When I look back on it though, I now tend to call it a relapse rather than a slip. There’s something remarkably passive about the word “slip.” It tends to infer that there was nothing leading up to it and – whoops – all of a sudden there was vodka in my mouth! This was hardly the case, and there were certainly many, many warning signs leading up to my relapse.

If you are in a 12 Step program and are starting to feel like your life is getting out of control – surprise, you’re probably already in of what might be considered a “slip.” At the very least, you're on the road towards a relapse.  The first drink never starts with the first drink, there are dozens of warning signs leading up to it, but the disease's job is also to keep you from seeing them.  Our disease's job is to always reassure us that we don’t have a problem... until it's too late.