Most people who have been around 12-Step programs for any amount of time are familiar with the concept of acceptance.  Overall, finding a way to integrate acceptance in your life will make it a much more peaceful one.  You can find an appendix to this article near the back that explores the “big picture” of acceptance in more detail.

However, when we are dealing with getting abstinent, there that single, absolute point that is the fork in the road.  One way leads to relapse, and the other towards long-term abstinence.  The question is:  why did the fork appear at all?  For most of us who have dealt with relapse, there was a time before relapse where we felt pretty secure with our abstinence, and then everything fell apart.  There was one thing that made that fork in the road reappear and pushed us toward “the path not wanted.”  That one thing is a craving.

In my business, we use the word “craving” as a general catchall for whatever ideas start coming into an addict’s head that have them considering making their substance an option again.  The same is true with the food.

How does acceptance figure into all of this about cravings?  We have to accept that we will have cravings.  In my experience, almost every newly sober or abstinent person – no matter how pink of a pink cloud on which they might find themselves in the present moment – will find her or himself face to face with a craving or cravings at some time in the future.  How this situation is handled is absolutely critical.  Understanding and accepting that this phenomenon will happen at some point in the future makes it easier to be ready for it.  Forewarned is forearmed.

Let’s fast forward to a later time.  You’ve been doing well with your newfound abstinence.  Things have been easy, and there were even thoughts that this time you might have “gotten it.”  And then it hits.  Maybe it starts with a passing thought about something you used to eat that you no longer eat now.  It might be accompanied by fond memories about it.  This is called “euphoric recall” in my business.  The thoughts now come more and more and there is a point where you are actively considering breaking your abstinence.

So, lo and behold, that time that was predicted did indeed come to pass.  You are now face to face with the possibility of getting back into the food.  What comes next?

What comes next is acceptance:  acceptance that you’re having a craving.  Acceptance doesn’t mean that you fight it.  It doesn’t mean you try to push it out of your brain.  It doesn’t mean you beat yourself up for having it:  you have a disease and you happen to be experiencing one of the symptoms.

Having a craving is not the problem.  The way we deal with the craving can either be useful or then can become a problem.  To that end, we move to the next aspect, which is addressed in the next article of this series.