If you were like me, when you were trying to stay abstinent, you tried to not keep any of your “problem foods” in the house.  This was a lot easier when I was single.  Later on, when I did have a problem, I would ask my wife to put the foods that she ate (that I had quit eating) somewhere that they were not a constant reminder to me.  I wasn’t asking her to forego her pleasures, just to put them somewhere that made it a little easier for me to stay abstinent. 

Hopefully, you have made the same kind of arrangement.  Assuming that you have, there is one stone cold fact you have to admit to:  if the urge to go relapse has happened, none of the food you’re going to relapse on are within arm’s reach.  There will be some concerted effort needed on your part to get up and get your food of choice.  Perhaps it’s just walking into the kitchen, but for me it was often going out, getting into a car, driving somewhere, picking up “the goods” and bringing it home (probably eating some in the car on the way back).

The point:  the time from the instigation of the thought of eating to the eating itself is not instantaneous!  There is a time gap there and there are things you can do to put between those two events. 

This is where the concept of pausing and utilizing some mindfulness comes into play.

At this point, I need to stop and speak of one of the other aspects of this six-point program:  commitment to action.  For this to work, you have to be willing to commit to following the mindfulness regimen I am about to explain to you before eating.

Here is the super important key to this working (or at least giving it a chance):  you do not even commit to not eating.  You just commit to do these things before you pick up that first compulsive bite.

Why not make this exercise a commitment instead of eating?  Simple.  I had it drilled into my head, first in one program then another, that if I had an urge to “pick up the phone and call someone.”  Did I?  Nope.  Why?  Because they might talk me out of it and right at that moment I wanted to eat! 

This program is one of discovery:  discovery of yourself, discovery of your disease, discovery of what kinds of lies your disease is telling you.  It’s also discovery of the machinations of the relapse process, an examination of it from first inkling to the first compulsive bite.  It will be like taking a snapshot of your brain at a specific point in time, and in the peculiar mindset of a craving.  What you do with it will be totally your choice, but what it will do is give you more knowledge about how the process plays out for you.  Everyone is different, so your path to the first bite will be different from others.

Am I saying it’s okay to go eat?  No.  I truly hope you do not eat, but at the same time I’m trying to stress to you that the important thing is committing to “following the plan” no matter the outcome.  Maybe this activity won’t stop it today, but perhaps the knowledge you glean from the experience will help you the next time.

What is this mysterious activity you’re going to do before eating?  Writing.  In other forms of this program used for situations other than addiction, people sometimes just do it via thinking and meditating.  However, I think writing is important for those of us dealing with addiction of any kind.  The disease does a marvelous job of “mind wiping” us so that we forget how we felt from one moment to the next.  Taking a moment to formulate and examine your thoughts and feelings is crucial.  Putting those thoughts down on paper is an important part of that “discovery process.”

I have forms at the end of this article.  I think these are a good basis for this part of the program, but feel free to modify them for your specific situation.  Here’s another important point:  these are not assignments.  These are self-examination exercises.  They’re not meant to please me, or a sponsor, or a loved one – they’re here to help you (and you alone).  Don’t allow the number of them to be seen as onerous.  You don’t have to write a novel in each section, just take the time to stop and think about what your thoughts are telling you.

Before we start, it’s always good to do a quick “grounding exercise.”  We start by getting out of our heads, at least for a minute.  Your brain might have taken off towards the refrigerator or 7-11, but your body still resides in the chair. 

Time for a quick inventory – in other words:  look around.  Think about what you seeing.  “I see a clock on the wall.  I see the lamp and how it is throwing shadows.  I see the cat on the bed asleep.”  You’re taking in the situation within the room where you are sitting.  Take a moment to observe yourself.  How are you sitting?  What are you wearing?  Notice how the different parts of your body feel in the moment.  Wiggle your toes, clench and unclench your fists.  So much for the senses of sight and touch.

Next, close your eyes.  Focus your attention on what you are hearing.  What is it you hear?  “The car going by out on the street.  The sound of the TV elsewhere in the house or at a nearby neighbor’s house.  The sound of a washing machine running.”

How about smell?  Is there a recognizable smell you can identify?  “I can still smell the garlic I cooked at dinner.  I can smell… umm… I need to change the cat box.”

The main goal of this exercise is to remind yourself that you are not in the refrigerator or out the door.  You’re still sitting in your house, possibly in the same place you were before the thought to go eat came into your head.

Now, we're ready to look at the suggested writing exercises, which can be found alongside this article in the menu.